


Full Circle

by Heatherlly



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-18
Updated: 2012-08-18
Packaged: 2017-11-12 09:29:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/489365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heatherlly/pseuds/Heatherlly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>History threatens to repeat itself on what should be the happiest day of Arthur's life. Can a terrible tragedy be prevented? Or is the young king doomed to revisit his father's dark legacy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I: Guinevere

**Title:** Full Circle  
 **Category:** Het (Canon AU)  
 **Characters/Pairings:** Arthur/Gwen, Merlin  
 **Rating/Warnings:** M (semi-graphic childbirth)  
 **Summary:** History threatens to repeat itself on what should be the happiest day of Arthur's life. Can a terrible tragedy be prevented? Or is the young king doomed to revisit his father's dark legacy?

* * *

#  **\- o - Part I: Guinevere - o -**

* * *

Soft morning sunlight spilled over the horizon, bathing the slumbering city of Camelot in gentle hues of pink and gold. A new day was dawning, at the same moment that an unborn child stirred restlessly in his mother's womb, preparing to meet a world that eagerly awaited his coming.

Queen Guinevere whimpered in her sleep, one hand sliding down to cradle her distended belly as the contraction rippled through her body. She came fully awake when another one hit a few minutes later, biting her lip to keep from crying aloud as she carefully shifted into a sitting position and stared down at the man lying beside her.

Arthur lay sprawled out on his stomach, lost in the throes of deep, peaceful slumber. Gwen let out a quiet sigh, resisting the urge to wake him for a bit of reassurance.  _No, let him sleep,_  she told herself firmly.  _There's no need to wake him just yet._

She struggled to control her nervousness as she sat alone in the dimly lit chamber, trying not to think about how much pain she might have to endure before it would all be over. She'd been scared for weeks, although she never spoke a word about her fears to anyone else.  _Childbirth is the most natural thing in the world, Gwen,_  she would remind herself sternly.  _Women bear children every day._

 _And many die in the attempt,_  an ominous voice would always whisper in response.

Gwen would try and reassure herself that she'd have the best care in Camelot when her time came. Then she'd remember that the midwife had commented on how young and healthy she was, telling her that she shouldn't have any problems when it came time to deliver her child. None of it mattered. Her fears had persisted, and rose up to torment her more strongly than ever as suffered silently through what she assumed to be the early stages of labor.

_What if I'm not strong enough to handle the pain? What if something goes wrong? What if the baby dies, or I do? Or worse, what if neither of us survives? Arthur will not be able to bear it. I can't let him down. I can't..._

Anxiety battered her mind with a force that knocked the breath out of her, just as her muscles began to spasm with another contraction. 

 _Oh, it hurts…_  She gingerly eased back down onto her side and curled up with both arms wrapped around the rigid mound of her stomach.  _Oh, this is already so much worse than I thought it would be._

She buried her face in a pillow and moaned low in her throat, trying to muffle the sound as tears began to seep from beneath the lids of her tightly closed eyes.  _I can't take it. Oh, I can't do this alone..._ her mind whimpered, just before the terrible pressure released her from its grip again.

 _Not yet,_  she reminded herself, feeling a little more rational as her body relaxed.  _Remember what the midwife said. This is going to take hours. There's no reason to disturb anyone quite yet, and it isn't so bad, really. Let Arthur rest a while longer. He's going to need it._

Gwen tried to lie still, but every muscle in her body screamed with the need to move. As she rose awkwardly to her feet and padded around the chamber, the motion began to ease the tension in her lower back somewhat. Then without warning, she cried aloud and doubled over in agony as a much stronger contraction ripped through her midsection, hitting her with the force of an earthquake compared with the previous tremors she'd felt.

When Arthur came awake at the sounds of her distress, he found her clinging to the bedpost to keep from falling, tears spilling down her cheeks as she panted and sobbed out a succession of incoherent pleas.

She heard her name spoken several times, then felt herself being lifted by strong arms that lay her gently on the bed. Beyond that, she wasn't aware of anything except the terrible pain that radiated outward from her belly, burning into her lower back and setting her legs to trembling so hard that she could feel her teeth chattering in her mouth. She heard herself let out a ragged gasp as the pressure began to ease, and then it was gone.

"Arthur," she whispered shakily, as the room came back into focus and she saw her husband's unusually pale face hovering above her. "You're awake."

"Of course I am," he retorted impatiently, somehow managing to look angry, worried, bewildered, and affectionate all at the same time. "When did it start, Guinevere? Why didn't you wake me up?"

She gave him a weak smile in response. "It only started at daybreak. The midwife said it's probably going to take hours. What was the harm in allowing you to sleep for a few more minutes?"

_"Daybreak?!"_

Arthur gasped incredulously, but her cry was far louder as another contraction slammed through her body. As the pain waxed and waned with an agonizing slowness, she heard herself keening like a wounded animal, unable to stop herself and not caring enough to try. She gripped the nearest solid object to brace herself against the pain, not realizing it was Arthur's arm until the spasms receded and she opened her eyes to see blood dripping from her fingers.

"I'm sorry," she panted breathlessly, touching the scratches she'd inflicted. "I didn't mean to... I'm sorry."

Arthur only shook his head, reaching out with his other hand to stroke the sweat dampened curls back from her forehead. "Merlin has gone to fetch the midwife," he said softly. "Just try to rest while you can."

Gwen frowned in confusion. "How does Merlin know?"

"He burst in here just a few minutes ago when he heard you crying out," Arthur explained with an exasperated look. "Didn't knock, as usual, but I suppose I'll let him get away with it under the circumstances."

"You'd let him get away with it under  _any_ circumstances," Gwen replied with a faint smile as she rested her head against the pillows he'd propped up behind her. "Admit it, Arthur, you... Ohhh!"

She heard the chamber door open through a haze of pain, followed by an older woman's voice that brusquely ordered Arthur to step aside. "I'm sorry," she managed between heavy pants. "I-I would have t-told them not to send for you so s-soon if-if..." she trailed off, unable to continue.

The midwife ignored her, casting a furious look at Arthur instead. "How many hours has she been like this? Why wasn't I called for sooner?"

Gwen struggled to catch her breath as the sharply painful contraction faded into a dull, persistent ache. "Only since sunrise. Please, it's not his fault. I wanted to give everyone a few extra minutes to sleep, that's all. You said..."

"Sunrise was more than seven hours ago," the woman said shortly as she bustled over to the bed and threw the covers aside. "You, boy!" she called, jabbing a fat finger in the direction of the chamber door where Merlin stood with a rather alarmed expression on his face. "Scissors, heated water, towels, you know what I need. Get it, and quickly!"

As soon as Gwen's nightgown and underclothes were removed, she stared down in consternation at her naked body, taking in the sight of swollen breasts and cautiously running her hands over the impossibly huge, hard lump that had once been her stomach. The midwife probed between her thighs, then looked up with a nod of satisfaction.

"She's ready."

When the next contraction hit, Gwen opened her mouth and wailed, arching her back as her bare thighs fell apart of their own volition. And then she was pushing, guided by an instinct more powerful than anything she'd ever felt in her life. The agonizing pressure radiated downward in burning, aching waves, begging her muscles to bear down and follow it.

She submitted to her body's commands, clinging to the voices of encouragement that surrounded her as she struggled again and again to expel the child from her womb. She strained and pushed for what felt like hours, bearing down with every ounce of strength she had, with no result other than muscles that were swiftly beginning to tire from the constant exertion.

"The baby won't come," she sobbed brokenly as she collapsed in exhaustion against the pillows. "It's not moving."

A hand reached out to run a cool cloth over her forehead, dropping down to wipe the sheen of sweat from her neck, shoulders, and breasts. She sighed gratefully, opening her eyes to stare at Arthur's face above her. He looked haggard, drawn and pale, with a thick dusting of unshaven whiskers covering his jaw. With worry filled eyes, he gazed down at her lovingly as he tried to give her some small relief.

"It must be getting close now," he murmured softly, as Merlin moved around behind him lighting candles to greet the coming night. "I know you're tired, but you're going to need to keep pushing for a little longer. Just a few more minutes."

She wanted to tell him she had nothing left to give, but the pleading in his eyes stopped her short. Summoning a last bit of energy, she raised up on her elbows and drew her feet up close to her body, grunting and sobbing in helpless frustration as she gave several forceful pushes to no avail. She fell back against the pillows, then tried to rise again, only to realize she no longer had the strength to do so.

 _I'm going to die,_  she thought dully as she closed her eyes, too spent to even cry out in response to the agonizing pain that wracked her body.  _I can't do it. I can't._

"I don't understand," she heard the midwife say, as if from a great distance. "She should've delivered hours ago, and yet the baby hasn't even  _moved_. It doesn't make any sense."

"You're supposed to be the best midwife in the kingdom!" Arthur snapped, the fury in his voice not quite managing to mask the fear that lay just beneath the surface. "What do you want? Tell me and I'll give it to you. Just deliver my queen safely, and half of Camelot will be yours."

"This isn't about payment," the woman murmured much more softly, as if trying to make sure Gwen wouldn't overhear. "All the gold and lands you might offer do not change the fact that she's bleeding heavily and grows weaker by the second. I wouldn't ask for a single copper to save her life if I knew what to do, but I don't. I'm sorry, sire."

"If she dies, you will be executed," Arthur spat coldly, and a chill of dread skittered down Gwen's spine. He sounded uncannily like his father when he spoke the words, a man who'd been driven mad by grief, destroying countless lives to avenge his own wife who'd died in childbirth.

 _No, Arthur!_  she wanted to scold him.  _You mustn't think that way. Please, whatever happens, do not use it as an excuse to inflict suffering upon innocent people._

She opened her mouth to speak, but all that emerged was a pitiful whimper as her body made one more feeble effort to deliver the baby that wouldn't come. With a bewildered look expression on her face, the midwife began to push on Gwen's rigid belly and probe between her legs again, which brought forth a weak protest against the painful invasion.

"Stop… Please… Hurts…"

When the woman withdrew her hand, it was covered in blood. "I don't understand," she muttered to herself over and over as she frowned in consternation. "I don't understand."

And then there was another voice, the sound of an old, familiar friend that brought Gwen comfort even in her agony. "Arthur?" Merlin questioned softly. "May I take a look?"

"Not now, Merlin," Arthur said shortly. "This is bad enough as it is, without you mucking it up any further."

"Arthur, please," Merlin responded, his voice gentle and persuasive. "I know I'm not a midwife, but I trained under the Court Physician for many years, before he..." he trailed off for a moment, and Gwen knew he was remembering the dear old man who'd passed away a few months before. "Well, anyway," he continued determinedly. "I may be able to help."

"Let him..." Gwen managed in a feeble whisper, finding it more and more difficult to focus on Arthur's grief stricken features. "Please."

Arthur consented with a curt nod, and then it was Merlin's face her bleary eyes saw hovering over her, a sweet, reassuring smile on his lips. He didn't push on her belly, causing her further pain as the midwife had done. Instead, he laid his hands upon her so gently that she could barely even feel his touch.

"The baby is turned the wrong way," he announced, without a trace of doubt in his voice.

"Boy, I've been a midwife for nearly three decades! If that were true, I would know it. I've examined the queen repeatedly, and it isn't..."

"There isn't time to argue," Merlin interrupted, the words soft and urgent. "If we want to save her life, we're going to have to turn the baby. There's no other choice."

Gwen didn't know whether Arthur took Merlin's side because he trusted his judgment, or if it were only due to the fact that he was offering some small hope where the midwife was not. She lay limp and helpless, fading in and out of consciousness as the woman reached between her trembling thighs and...

"Hold her down!"

A tormented scream emerged from her throat, blinded by white hot pain as her body fought to escape the terrible invasion. Strong arms held her firmly in place, and still she struggled, resisting with a desperate strength she didn't know she still had as she felt an awful shifting deep inside her.

"He's right," she heard the midwife murmur in quiet disbelief.

And then the world went black.


	2. Part II: Merlin

#  **\- o - Part II: Merlin - o -**

* * *

Merlin felt a lump in his throat as he watched Arthur fall to his knees beside the bed and take one of Gwen's limp hands in his own. The beautiful queen lay unconscious, her skin deathly pale aside from the dark circles beneath her closed eyes and the blood that was smeared across her thighs and swollen belly.

"Guinevere," Arthur begged piteously, his voice small and frightened as a single tear spilled down his cheek. "Don't leave me, please..."

It was a haunting sight – a grieving king prostrate on the floor beside a bloodstained bed that held the body of his beloved wife and unborn child. Choking back his own sorrow in an effort to be strong for his friends, Merlin suddenly realized how similar the scene must be to the tragedy that had happened decades before, on the night when Arthur himself had been born.

Had Gaius stood quietly by and allowed his king to weep when it had become clear that Queen Ygraine wouldn't survive? Had he wanted to cry himself, helpless to prevent the suffering of two people he'd loved so dearly? And most of all, had Uther ever truly forgiven his friend for being powerless to save Ygraine's life?

"There may yet be hope we can save the child," the midwife murmured softly, treating Merlin with the utmost respect since his claim had proven true. "If we can revive her, even for a few minutes, she may still have enough strength left to push out the baby now that it's positioned correctly."

"And what about her?" Arthur demanded, whirling around with eyes that were half mad with fury and grief as he gestured wildly at the bed. "What about Guinev...?" he choked off on a ragged sob.

"Sire, I'm sorry," the midwife said somberly, taking a step backward as if she were afraid Arthur might strike her. "She's lost too much blood already, and there's no way to staunch the flow. I'm afraid it's already too late for the queen."

She leaned over the small form with the distended belly, passing a bundle of pungent herbs beneath Gwen's nose. "My lady," she entreated softly. "I need you to wake up now. Your child needs you. Just a little more, and then you may rest as long as you like."

For a few endless minutes, Gwen lay so still that she might have been dead already, aside from the shallow rise and fall of her chest. And then with a feeble moan of exhausted suffering, her eyes slowly opened, struggling in vain to focus on the faces around her. Her lips parted as if she wanted to speak, but all that came out was a barely audible whimper as her body began to spasm in the throes of a powerful contraction.

"Quick, get behind her!" the midwife commanded Arthur, who was instantly spurred into motion by the urgency in her voice. "She doesn't have the strength to hold herself upright. Let her brace her back against your chest. Yes, that's it! Now push, my lady! I need you to push!"

Gwen's head fell heavily against Arthur's shoulder, her leg muscles trembling violently as she let out a succession of tiny sobs and weak grunts. Merlin stood beside the bed, swallowing hard as he watched the king cradle his dying wife in his arms while she struggled to present him with an heir as her final act in life. Arthur wept shamelessly, his tears spilling onto her ashen face, even as he whispered words of love, encouragement, and heart wrenching apology.

The midwife knelt between her shaking knees, anxiously examining her opening again and again in the fervent hope that it wouldn't be too late to save at least one life.

 _I should have acted sooner_ , Merlin thought sorrowfully.  _If I'd just gone over to the bed, if I had only touched her earlier, I would have known._

Another innocent life, lost through the misuse of magic. For it  _was_ magic that was at fault; Merlin had sensed its power the moment he'd laid his fingers on the swollen belly and felt the dark shield that prevented unknowing hands from detecting any warning signs. Morgana? He could only assume so; she'd have every reason to want to prevent the safe birth of a Pendragon heir.

What would Arthur do if he found out the truth while he was mourning the death of his beloved queen? Morgana was known to be spiteful, and seemed only too glad to take the credit for any misery she created in Arthur's life these days. Would he turn out just like Uther, hellbent on destroying anyone who dared to practice magic within the kingdom?

At the very least, any hope of the king ever accepting magic would die right along with Gwen. Even if he never learned the true cause of her death, Gwen was his faith, his hope, an anchor which kept him tied firmly to the ground. It was she who taught him to be a better man, taking him in hand when he disappointed her on any matter relating to justice, goodness, or mercy. No other person had the power to make Arthur stop and question his actions quite like she did.

What kind of king would he be without her?

Unfortunately, the answer to that question seemed imminent as Gwen fainted again and lay limply in Arthur's arms. The midwife muttered something about "getting closer, but not close enough," prodding desperately at the unconscious queen and begging her to wake up just one more time.

Gwen didn't stir as Arthur wrapped his arms more tightly around her swollen body, burying his face in her damp, tangled hair as his chest began to heave with violent sobs.

"Is she still alive?" Merlin whispered to the midwife.

She gave him a sad look. "Only just. It's too late now. Too late for her, and for the child too, I'm afraid. The best we can hope for is that she might regain consciousness long enough to bid farewell to her husband, the poor man. But even that..." she trailed off and shook her head.

 _This is Uther, Ygraine, and Gaius all over again,_  Merlin realized, as grief stricken tears began to roll down his cheeks.  _Nothing has changed, only this time, there won't even be a child to ease his father's suffering. Arthur will be left with nothing except a broken spirit that will never mend._

As if sensing his thoughts, Arthur raised his head and gazed up at Merlin with a face full of hopeless desperation. Not even in his worst moments had Merlin ever seen such naked, helpless vulnerability in his eyes. They pleaded silently with him, begging him to do something,  _anything_ , to prevent the most heartbreaking loss Arthur would ever know in his lifetime.

Suddenly, Merlin saw just how much Arthur trusted him, needed him, relied upon him with his entire soul to make things right, even if he might not be consciously aware of it. And so after what seemed like a lifetime of deception, years upon years of carefully hiding the truth until the right time to reveal his secret might finally come, Merlin knew without a shadow of a doubt that  _this_ was the moment he'd been waiting for.

Calmly, he stepped closer to the bed and laid his hand on Gwen's clammy forehead. " _Edníwe se blódsihte, edgief se sáwol, ácwice se ferhþ_ ," he whispered, deliberately meeting Arthur's incredulous stare as his eyes flashed a brilliant shade of gold. " _Áwace!"_

Arthur opened and closed his mouth in shock, but before he could manage to speak, the room filled with a loud, tormented cry. Gwen stirred violently in his arms, her whole body tensing as her eyes opened and she began to push more fiercely than she'd managed to do in hours. She screamed again and again, her voice growing stronger as she met and endured the relentless contractions that slammed through her straining, sweat drenched body.

"A-almost there!" announced the midwife, staring at Merlin in bewilderment. "I can see the head! Come on, just one more push. You can do it!"

Gwen braced herself against Arthur's chest and bore down hard, her fingernails ripping bloody furrows into the skin of her naked thighs as she gave a mighty push, then a second and a third. Her savage cries of agony turned into a gasp of triumph as the infant slipped free from her body and into the midwife's waiting hands.

"A boy," Merlin whispered in wonder. "Arthur, you have a son."

The newborn infant chose the same moment to open his mouth and let loose a succession of furious yells. Gwen laughed aloud, a sound of pleasure no one had ever expected to hear from her lips again as she reached for her tiny son. Arthur carefully lowered her to lie back on the pillows, while the midwife made quick work about cleaning the babe, then wrapping him in a blanket and placing him in his mother's arms.

"He's beautiful," Gwen breathed, touching a finger to his tiny nose and tracing the lines of his soft, pink mouth. "Oh, he's perfect."

She gazed into the infant's unfocused blue eyes with an expression of adoration, seeming unaware of Arthur's presence as he pulled up a chair to sit beside the bed. He looked on in rapt fascination, his eyes full of love and pride as Gwen bonded with their newborn son for the first time.

Just a few minutes later, when the young mother had been suitably tended to – gently bathed, dressed in a fresh nightgown, and left to rest among clean linens, her eyelids began to droop as the infant suckled sleepily at her breast. Beside them, Arthur had already fallen asleep, his head resting against the wall behind him with a small smile on his lips.

Merlin opened the chamber door to let himself out, overwhelmed with happiness as he looked back one last time at the slumbering faces of the king and queen he loved so deeply, then gazed upon the newborn that promised a brighter future for them all. He smiled in satisfaction, more certain than ever that he'd done the right thing.

He ttook pride in the gift of life that had been given, knowing it had come from a devotion that was far stronger than a lifetime of secrecy or fear. In the moment he'd stepped forward and uttered the spell, he'd only been thinking about Arthur and Gwen… but in the end, it had been an act that promised a better life for countless others who suffered for a very different reason.

Following Queen Ygraine's demise, people with magic had lived in torment, enduring relentless persecution as they were forced to conceal themselves from a ruler who'd meant to destroy them all. But Queen Guinevere's resurrection whispered of changing winds, foreshadowing a time when those with the gift might awaken to their former strength as she had done, pulled free from the clutches of an almost certain death.

This was the power that surrounded them all, Merlin realized, the eternal cycle of death and rebirth that had shaped the world since the beginning of time. Magic's punishment had found its root in the death of one queen… and magic would be granted absolution through the life of another.

And thus the great Pendragon legacy would come full circle, fighting its way out of darkness to greet the brilliant promise of brand new day.


End file.
